Shattered
by notTamiTaylor
Summary: This is what happens if Luke had died in that episode before the season 2 finale when he was in that accident. Focuses on Rayna's reaction and how she copes with the news. Thanks to RClaybourne for the ideas and editing. INCLUDES CHARACTER DEATH.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

Rayna walked out of her meeting to find Bucky, with a serious look on his face. "Rayna... There's been a serious accident..."

She nodded, giving him the okay to continue. He sighed, "Luke's convoy hit an IED... There weren't any survivors Rayna.."

She just stood there, and blinked. He sighed, "Rayna..."

"No... No... Survivors?" She repeated.

He nodded, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

A tear escaped her eye, and he quickly ushered her to the elevator, "I'm so sorry Ray. It hasn't broke to the media yet. Corey called me"

She stared at herself in the mirrored elevator and blinked back tears. "Don't take me home"

He nodded, "where do you wanna go?"

She shrugged, looking at herself in the mirror. She could no longer contain her tears and Bucky pushed the emergency stop on the elevator. "He... He's..."

He knelt down, his own heart breaking for the woman who was beginning to build a relationship with the singer. "I'm so sorry Ray. We can cancel LP..."

He bit his lip, they were supposed to do Ball and Chain in just a few days. She shook her head, it was her album launch, "don't. Just pick another song to add to the set list"

He sighed, nodding. She stood up and he pushed the button to make the elevator go again. He quickly ushered her to his SUV and drove away, "where to Ray?"

She shrugged, "the cabin"

He nodded, "I'm gonna call Deacon"

The guitarist agreed and promised to meet them at the cabin to be there for her. The news broke, and Rayna's phone blew up. She got angry and rolled down Bucky's window, chunking her phone onto the Tennessee highway. He saw another driver run over the black phone and sighed. His phone continued to ring, one call being from Tandy. "Rayna it's Tandy..."

"NO" she snapped.

He answered anyway, explaining what Rayna had just done, and where he was taking her. Tandy promised to get the girls, and bring Rayna some things she needed.

She aimlessly stared out the window and he sighed, "you're getting a new phone Rayna"

She sighed, "whatever"

Bucky sent an urgent text to Deacon who was also on his way to the cabin. Rayna cried quietly most of the way, and just sat in the car when they arrived. Bucky sighed, "can we go in?"

She looked around, "no"

He sighed, attempting to squeeze her hand. She pulled away and hung her head, her golden curls covering her face.

He saw Deacon pull up behind him, and smiled. She heard the familiar noise of his truck and groaned, "BUCKY."

He sighed, "sweetie, I'm not letting you stay here alone, especially after what you did to your phone earlier"

She pouted and threw open the car door. She jumped out and ran down to the lake. She ran onto the small wooden dock and just stood there, crying. Bucky looked to Deacon, "I had to tell her before it broke to the media. I know she hates me, I crushed whatever dreams and feelings she had built with that man"

Deacon nodded, he hated seeing her this way. "You did the right thing. Now, don't push her. Don't call Tandy out here just yet, she needs the space"

Bucky nodded, "I tried to get her to move her LP show, people would understand. She said no and just told me to find another song to replace Ball and Chain."

He sighed, "let me see how she reacts when I try..."

They heard a scream and saw her chunk a piece of jewelry into the water. Bucky sighed, Luke had bought her a bracelet for her album launch before he left. Deacon slowly approached her and sighed, "hey... Ray"

She sunk to the floor and cried. Her life was twisted in more ways than she could even imagine. She continued to cry and chunked a small rock into the water. "Leave me alone!"

He sighed, "you and I both know that's not what you want"

She slammed the splintery dock with her hand, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" She snapped through gritted teeth.

He got up and sighed, walking over to Bucky, "this won't be easy"

Bucky nodded, "Tandy has a bag ready for her with a few days worth of stuff, and she said that Rayna's doctor gave her a light sedative… I told her to hold on and I'd let her know when she could bring it"

They heard a splash and Deacons eyes grew wide as the dock was empty. He ran for the water and pulled her from the cold lake. He laid her on the grass and brushed the hair from her face. She looked up at him, crying. He sighed, "what was that all about?"

She shrugged and began to shiver. He picked her up and carried her inside. He nodded to Bucky to get Tandy to bring her the clothes. He brought her upstairs and found one of his old shirts. He brought it to her, "change Ray, you can't stay in those clothes"

She cooperated and changed into the warm flannel, that went to about her knees. He noticed a warm blanket that she'd left there the last time she was there, and wrapped her in the worn flannel. He sat by her, "talk to me Ray"

She shook her head, and fiddled with his shirt. She left the bathroom and went back downstairs. Bucky had made her some hot tea, to warm her up from the icy water. She took the tea and sipped it a little. Bucky sat by her, "honey Corey called again, they'll have him back in Nashville tomorrow. His family's flying in..."

She gave him a blank stare, but threw the half empty mug at the wall. Deacon sighed, "whoa, easy Ray"

She pouted and cried. She got up, shoving the contents of the coffee table to the floor, causing a cup full of guitar picks to scatter across the floor.

She sat back down and whimpered. "Don't tell them where I am"

Bucky nodded, "I've told everyone that you have no comment and that you're spending time with family"

She just stared at him, nodding. She cried a little and Bucky's phone rang. "Hello..." He sighed.

"This is Laurie wheeler... Luke's mom"

He stepped outside, sighing, "I'm so sorry this happened.."

She sighed, "how's Rayna, and don't give me that no comment crap. We know Luke loved her"

Bucky glanced inside at the crying singer, "she's in a private location outside of Nashville. She's devastated, as I'm sure y'all are too. She wants to be alone, but I know that's not what she needs right now"

Laurie sighed, "it's hard, I will admit to that. I just wanted her to know that the funeral is scheduled for next week, here in Nashville. She can come if it's something she's feeling up to"

"I'll let her know. Maybe in a few days it might help her to talk to you"

He suggested.

"You're probably right, just let me know. This number is the best way to reach me, it's my cell" she sighed.

"Thanks Laurie... I'm really sorry about this..."

They hung up and Bucky sighed when he saw Tandy. They hugged quickly and she sighed, "how is she?"

"Almost unresponsive. She jumped into the freezing lake earlier, but don't worry, Deacon got her out fast and found an old shirt for her" he sighed.

Tandy nodded, walking in, "Rayna sweetie"

"GET OUT!"

Tandy sighed, "I brought you some warm, dry clothes sweetheart… and your doctor gave me a little something to help you relax"

Rayna threw a pillow at her and cried. Tandy caught the pillow, knowing Rayna wasn't quite over their father's death. Rayna continued to cry, "GET HER OUT OF HERE!"

Bucky sighed, as Tandy walked away. He followed the woman, "I'm sorry, only person she hasn't screamed that at is me. She doesn't want anything to do with Deacon, but I know it's helping having him here"

Tandy sighed, "I thought the sedative would help… but her stuff's here…"

"she might take it in a little while. Just leave it. I'm gonna head back to the office soon, But keep me posted"

She nodded, "I will, thanks Buck. Oh, I called her phone company, they're sending a brand new one to your office, ready to go"

"great. Thanks Tandy."

The woman smiled, "I'm gonna head back to be with the girls, but I'll check on her later"

Bucky nodded and they quickly hugged before she left.

He walked back inside and Rayna was hugging a pillow, crying. "She's gone sweetie. But she did bring you some warm clothes"

Rayna just looked to him and didn't seem to be able to form words.

Bucky sighed, "I'm gonna head back to the office, okay Rayna"

Rayna just pouted and Deacon tried to rub her back. She pushed him away and Bucky sighed when his phone went off as he was walking out of the cabin, "Teddy… what's up?"

"I just needed to know if I needed to take the girls. But she won't pick up"

"Well she threw her phone out the window on 65..." Bucky explained.

Teddy sighed, "that explains things. I haven't talked to Tandy but who needs to get the girls?"

"Tandy and I just talked, I believe Tandy is. But you two can work that out. Oh, and tell Maddie that Deacon's here with Ray right now" Bucky sighed.

"Deacon? Seriously? Where is she?"

"No Teddy. It's a private location. That's what I've told everyone, media and other execs. She's not coming back into Nashville until further notice" Bucky explained.

Teddy sighed, "do I need to get her anything from the house?"

"Tandy brought some stuff by, but I'll let you know if she needs anything"

"alright… I've gotta go. I'll call later" Teddy sighed, and hung up.

Rayna had finally started to calm down, "did I kick my sister out?"

Deacon sat on the blank coffee table and nodded, "yeah honey, you did. She knows you're upset"

Rayna hung her head and sighed, "I'm fine. Just let me spend a night or two out here, and I'll be okay"

He squeezed her hands, "honey, Luke's momma called. She wanted me to know his funeral is next week..."

She shook her head, "no"

He nodded, "okay. I just wanted you to know"

She sighed, biting her lip to keep the tears at bay. Deacon sighed, "she got you a little somethin to help you relax, do you wanna try that?"

She shook her head, "don't give me any medicine Deacon….."

He just nodded and held her for a while as she struggled to calm down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

Rayna spent three days at the cabin, Deacon tried to get her to eat and sleep but she pushed him further and further away. She came downstairs one morning in a pair of baggy jeans, an oversized sweater, and her hair was curly again, and she had big fuzzy socks on. Deacon smiled, "hey you"

She sighed, sitting down, "you said the visitation is today?"

He nodded, "yeah. You want to go?"

She shrugged, "kinda"

He smiled, squeezing her hand, "we can go, even if it's just for a few minutes. I'll call Bucky"

She nodded, "I can't go like this"

He sighed, nodding, "find some shoes and I'll take you back to your house, so you can change"

He took her home and she changed, coming back down in a black sweater dress, and a long coat. "You ready?"

She nodded, getting into the car. He drove to the funeral home, squeezing Rayna's hand before turning off the car. "If you can't do this just tell me and we'll leave"

She nodded, getting out. Almost instantly she was greeted by other Edgehill artists and tried to keep a straight face.

She saw Luke's teen son sitting by himself in the corner and walked up to him, sitting down. "Hey"

He sighed, "Rayna.."

She looked at him, trying to gage how he was doing. "How're you doin hon?"

He shrugged, looking at one of the singers across the room. "It just doesn't seem real"

She nodded, "I know. It doesn't"

He sighed, "he loved you... He told me. The last time we talked"

She sighed, squeezing his hand, "he told me too, and I know he loved you. he always talked about how important you kids were, even when he was with me."

He just nodded, smiling when he saw his grandma across the room, getting up to go to her. Bucky sat by Rayna, "how're we doin?"

She shrugged, "okay for now... Avoiding people"

He sighed, "Alan is here... He said he'd sing with you, he thought the fans would like it"

She groaned, "no. It's completely off the list"

He sighed, "alright Ray. Come on, let's just say hi to a few people and leave"

She groaned, but followed Bucky into the other room. She saw the casket in the corner of her eye with a large flower arrangement on top, and suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. Bucky squeezed her hand and she hung her head, avoiding eye contact. He sighed, "deep breath Ray."

She cooperated but was lucky when another artist got her into a conversation. Bucky stood by her and smiled at Corey, Luke's manager. The man came up to him, glancing at Rayna, "how's she doin?"

Bucky sighed, "not too good, but she's hangin in there"

Corey nodded, "I knew from that first phone call this was going to shatter her"

Bucky nodded, "She's definitely not herself. This is really hard on her… we tried getting her to take a light sedative earlier, but she didn't want anything to do with that"

Corey sighed, "I can just tell she's devastated. But I also know she'll get through this, he'd want her to…"

Bucky nodded, "yeah… we're tryin…."

Corey sighed and went to talk to another artist that he saw. Bucky noticed Rayna standing by the casket and sighed, walking up to her, "hey..."

She looked at him, "I can't do it Buck"

He squeezed her hand, "do you want to?"

She nodded, looking around the crowded room for a way out.

He sighed, "let's go for a walk outside, and come back in later"

She didn't fight as he took her to the small patio outside, "how're we holdin up?"

She shrugged, "I can't breathe in there right now…."

He sighed, "just sit down a minute, take some deep breaths"

She nodded, putting her head on the table. He sighed, "do you want some water?"

She groaned, "shut up Buck"

He sighed, putting a comforting hand on her back, "it's okay... You wanna go back in there in a little bit?"

She shook her head, she couldn't face the sympathetic looks, or the concerned glances. She felt like she was suffocating every time she went into that room.

Bucky smiled as an older woman stepped out on to the patio and took a deep breath, he glanced at her, "Laurie?"

She nodded, "you must be Bucky..."

He sighed, "yeah, I'm really sorry for your loss…."

Laurie glanced at Rayna, who still had her head down. "How's she holdin up?"

Bucky sighed, "it's hard, she's struggling"

Laurie nodded, "I knew she would... She still hiding out at the private location?"

He nodded, "for now. But she will do that concert in a few days"

Laurie smiled, "want me to talk to her?"

Bucky sighed, "you can try... Though she might lash out… she hasn't been herself these past few days..."

Laurie nodded, and sat down by Rayna. "Hey Rayna..."

Rayna groaned, "go away"

The greying woman sighed, "honey I'm Laurie... Luke's mom"

Rayna got up, "what part of go away and I don't wanna talk don't you people get?!"

She stormed into the nearby grass and stared off into the trees.

Bucky sighed, "I'm sorry.." He mouthed.

Laurie shook her head, "she's grieving. I expected that.. Luke's daughter has given me the same response for a week now"

Bucky just nodded and glanced at Rayna. "I'm gonna give her some time out here, but she wants to see him, I know she does. Do you think she could have a couple minutes with him?"

Laurie nodded, "of course. She can have an hour if she wants it"

Bucky sighed, "thanks... I'm going to try to bring her tomorrow... It all depends on what she wants"

"That's fine, I know she's hurt. Just let her have the space, but at the same time don't give her too much... That's what the army officer told me when he told me what happened" Laurie sighed.

Laurie went back inside when she saw her granddaughter looking out the window, and Bucky approached Rayna, not saying anything. She blinked back tears that were coming quicker than she wanted, "make it stop Buck"

He sighed, "I wish I could, believe me, I do"

She cried, "I can't do this. people are lookin at me, and I feel like I'm being watched…"

He sighed, "they're just concerned Rayna… that's all"

She groaned, "I don't like it"

Bucky sighed, "I know… let's push back the show, the day after tomorrow is too soon sweetie"

She just nodded, deciding that he was right. They sat outside for a while longer and Laurie stuck her head out the window, letting Bucky know it was cleared out and Rayna could have a few minutes.

He walked her into the room and she looked into the casket at his still face. She cried, unable to form words. She touched his cold hand and wished this wasn't happening. She kissed her fingers and placed them on his forehead, walking away, unable to hold in her tears, and not caring if anyone saw her. She stood by Bucky's black SUV and continued to cry. He opened the car for her and got in, "the cabin?"

She nodded, and cried silently most of the way there. She got upstairs and searched in one of the cabinets, finding exactly what she knew would be there. Deacon had a left over stash of Jim Bean and she wanted it. She downed most of the bottle and fell asleep.

She put on her brave face at the funeral, even though Bucky could see right through it. Luckily it was sunny, and her big, black sunglasses hid the tears her eyes and helped her headache. Bucky took her home after the funeral, and she shut herself off in her room, not before getting her hands on some alcohol.

Tandy brought the girls home and started to make dinner. Rayna came down and hid her feelings from her girls and older sister. She nibbled on the chicken that Tandy made and didn't protest when Tandy offered her a glass of wine.

The single glass of wine turned into over half the bottle and it helped her calm down and sleep. However, her sleep was restless and didn't last long at all, so she just decided to finish off the rest of the bottle.

**AN: I hope y'all are enjoying this… it's something a little different than what I normally write, so let me know what y'all think. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

A few days later, Rayna sat in her room drinking most of the morning and early afternoon, and realized she needed to get her girls. She managed to make it to the school hiding the fact that she'd been drinking. She was quiet as Maddie and Daphne talked in the back seat, thankful she was able to get them home safely. She made dinner for them and they started to think that she was doing okay.

Things like this continued, Rayna would forget about things, she'd drink entire bottles of wine before being able to even think about sleeping, and she lashed out at people for no apparent reason. It was beginning to scare her girls, but they kept quiet because they just thought she was really sad still.

As the month continued Maddie began to notice that her mom often complained of headaches, and wore her dark sunglasses a lot more. She brushed it off at first, knowing she was still sad about Luke. But she worried when it didn't start to go away, instead it just got worse.

Rayna went back to work, and pulled off her show at LP without a hitch. Bucky smiled, "great show Rayna"

She sighed, immediately grabbing the champagne that was on a tray nearby, "you think?"

He nodded, "you did good, I'm proud of you… Luke would be proud of you too. He'd want you to do this"

She grabbed her second champagne and started drinking. Bucky was concerned, he knew too well what Deacon looked and acted like when he showed up drunk and she was starting to show the same signs. She'd come to meetings with headaches, and struggle to keep herself together. He decided to keep an eye on her for a while, just to be sure.

Her drinking continued, and Maddie got scared, she knew her dad was an alcoholic but she never even though it would happen to her mom. She decided that her mom needed somebody, even if it was just their uncle Bucky, who wasn't really their uncle, but he let them call him that anyways.

Rayna continued to act like she was okay, even though she definitely wasn't. She didn't want her girls to know she was drinking, but unbeknownst to her, her teenage daughter could see right through her.

Maddie could hear her crying at night, digging in their refrigerator for a new bottle of wine, throwing things around when she got angry, and she didn't think she could ask her mom what was wrong.

Several weeks later after Rayna didn't seem to get any better, Maddie seemed quiet and a little shy at her guitar lesson with Deacon. He put his guitar down, "everything okay Maddie?"

She nodded, "yeah"

He tried to get eye contact with his daughter and finally won, "you sure? You can talk to me"

Maddie sighed biting back tears, "it's my mom..."

He nodded, "okay. What about her?"

Maddie bit her lip, "she's still sad. She forgets things. She won't talk to us. She cries a lot. I can hear her at night… she yells at people for no reason…"

Deacon nodded, "I'm glad you told me honey. What else is your momma doin?"

Maddie nodded, "she yelled at Bucky on the phone the other day... And cried"

He sighed, noticing how scared his daughter was. "does this happen a lot?"

Maddie nodded, sighing. "she throws things… not at anybody though. She screams. She tries to hide from us at night…"

Deacon nodded, becoming increasingly worried about the singer, "alright… I'm gonna come check on her… okay, I'll bring you home"

Maddie shrugged, "I had to call aunt Tandy to get us food yesterday"

Deacon shook his head, worried that Rayna was drinking, and shutting people out, including her two daughters that he knew she adored. "It's gonna be okay. don't you worry"

Maddie nodded, hugging him. He held her close and kissed the top of her head. He helped her in the car and drove to the Belle Meade mansion. He helped Maddie into her house and noticed it was quiet, except for Rayna's tears. He walked upstairs and tapped on her door. "Ray"

"GO AWAY!" She cried.

He sighed, "come on now Ray"

She cried and he heard glass shattering. He got the door open and stepped into the room, she was throwing things around and ran her hand across the vanity top, breaking expensive perfume bottles and glass picture frames. She sipped from a glass bottle that he immediately recognized. The golden liquid that made him act this same way years before, was in her hands.

He was glad Maddie told him, the girls didn't need to see her like this. "Rayna"

She sank to the floor, crying, and sipping on her whiskey. He gently approached her and took the whiskey. "Ray"

"Leave!"

"No" he countered, the girls were scared and he didn't want them to be alone with her drunk.

He poured the rest of the whiskey down the drain, something he was sure she did for him multiple times.

He helped her clean up and she kicked him out, but he made sure the girls were fed first. He told them to call him if she got worse, no matter how late.

About a month later Rayna stumbled into a radio interview. Bucky sighed, "Rayna look at me"

She did but her eyes wandered. He tried to snap her back into focus but it didn't work. She slurred her way through the interview, and Bucky sighed, apologizing for her behavior. He sat her down in a private office, "what's goin on with you?"

"I'm fine Bucky dammit!"

He sighed, "you were distracted and slurring your words all morning"

"Dammit Buck! Stop. I'm fine" she groaned, slamming her hand on the table.

She stormed off and walked down the street to a nearby bar. The older bartender smiled, "what can I get for you, Ms. Jaymes?"

"Whiskey" she sighed.

He nodded and gave her the tumbler. She stayed there nursing a few glasses before paying, and giving him a good tip.

A few days later she did the same thing. She looked at Bucky, "where's my whiskey?"

He sighed, "it's gone Rayna"

"What do you mean GONE?" She screamed, throwing open cabinets. "Bucky where is it?"

"It's gone Rayna"

"That's not good enough!" She screamed, throwing the demos and the CD player off the table.

He sighed, watching as she terrorized the room, screaming as she threw things around. He quickly texted Tandy who rushed to the office. They let her in the room as she watched Rayna search cabinets for the whiskey she'd hidden. He looked to Tandy, "she's drunk"

Tandy nodded, approaching her baby sister, "sweetheart"

Rayna looked at Tandy, "get out!"

Tandy sighed, "no. Rayna honey what's wrong?"

"Who called my sister?! Get her out of here!" Rayna screamed.

"Ray"

Rayna pouted and stared at Tandy, "leave!"

"Rayna. Look at me" Tandy tried, her sister was hurting, and she wanted to help.

Rayna sighed angrily, "I'm FINE. Get the hell out!"

Tandy backed away and looked at Bucky, feeling helpless, "what do we do now? She's ignored Deacon, the girls are scared, I know it's Luke she wants... But we can't give her that"

Bucky sighed, "I'm gonna try. You just stay here and I'm gonna talk go her"

Bucky stepped in and Rayna was still digging through a cabinet, "Rayna"

She cried and ignored him, "where is it Bucky?"

He sat by her, "let's stop. Breathe. Look at me."

She felt a rush of raw emotions come to her and she took the shaky deep breath. The floodgates opened and Bucky held her hands, "sweetie"

She cried, "I just want Luke"

He nodded, "I know, if I could, he'd be right here with you"

Rayna cried, "he left me Bucky. He died and he left me..."

He squeezed her hands tight, "shhh honey. Let's get you home, calm down, and we can talk all you want"

Rayna pouted but agreed. Bucky got her into the car and looked at Tandy, "I promise I'll call. Can you get the girls today?"

Tandy nodded, "they can stay with me while you help her"

Bucky smiled, quickly hugging her as she left. He got in the car and Rayna was crying. He offered his hand which she took.

Bucky sighed when she just pulled away a few minutes later. His phone rang, and Corey explained to him that they were doing a concert at the Ryman for Luke. He really wanted Rayna there, and it was up to her if she sang. Bucky agreed, promising he'd tell Rayna.

He got her home and she sat on the couch. He sat on the coffee table, "Corey called. They're doing a memorial concert for Luke next week..."

Rayna sighed, "I should probably go. It would be weird if I didn't"

Bucky nodded, "he said you could sing if you wanted"

She shrugged, "I said I'd go. That's it"

"Okay. If you change your mind, the offer is there"

**A/N: Hey y'all! I'm back with an update! The last two weeks were busy for me. Summer school finals, I had to move… and yeah. But now that's over with so I can write more! Hope you guys like this one. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

Rayna finally agreed, Alan Jackson convinced her to sing Best Songs Come From Broken Hearts with him, but knew it would be tough for her. He talked her through it at sound check, but she just seemed to be distant and upset.

The morning of the concert she downed most of a bottle of whiskey and let her stylists get her ready. She slowly walked backstage knowing what was to come, she had to sing the song that Luke helped her through the first time she sang after her accident.

Bucky smiled when he saw her, "you ready Rayna?"

She sighed, "I just need a minute before I do this "

Bucky nodded, and Alan approached her, "hey Rayna"

She groaned, "just give me a minute!"

He nodded, "we don't have to do this Rayna…."

She saw some whiskey and chugged it back, "I'm good. let's go"

She ran onstage with Alan and started the song after they played her cue twice. They got about half way through and she started to cry. Alan encouraged her to work through it, and she couldn't contain her tears as she continued her last verse. Alan hugged her and she just cried. The audience applauded her for making it through the song. She stumbled off stage and grabbed the whiskey. She just stood there, drinking as she listened to George Strait, Brad Paisley, and Zac Brown Band sing her boyfriends songs. Bucky walked up to her, "we can go Rayna"

She shook her head, "I need to stay"

He just nodded as she continued to drink. She finished off the bottle and cried as Eli Young finished off a song, "Buck where's my whiskey?" She yelled at him, chunking the empty glass bottle on the floor.

He sighed, "Ray..."

She continued to cry, "dammit Bucky! Where is it?"

He just shook his hand and stopped a stage hand from handing her another bottle. She screamed at him, "GIVE ME THE WHISKEY!"

It was loud enough that it could be heard through the slow drums that were playing for the next song.

Bucky sighed, refusing to give her the alcohol. She sank to the floor crying, "I need it to get through this!"

He approached her, hoping to get her to a quiet dressing room. She screamed, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Bucky knew this would be bad in the media the next day, already reporters were hovering. He fought them off, saying that she just needed her space. She continued to cry as she hid behind a large drum case.

Alan approached her, and knelt down, "Rayna… hey"

She ignored him and continued to cry, her eyes searching the small space for a bottle of whiskey.

The man sighed, "Rayna… why don't we go for a walk outside?"

She shook her head no, "I JUST WANT LUKE!" she sobbed, slamming her fist into the drum case.

As the last song finished, Deacon rushed off stage and straight to her side. Bucky knew Deacon would be the only one there she'd listen to. he looked at Bucky, "is she drunk?"

Bucky nodded, "looks that way. could you hear her up there?"

Deacon just sighed, nodding. Her voice was a powerhouse even without a microphone, so the screams and sobs were echoing through the auditorium. "yeah."

Bucky shook his head and glanced at the crying singer who was curled up on the floor. Deacon made some of the others give her some space and he slowly approached her.

He knelt down and she opened her mouth to scream at him. He put his finger on her lips, "stop right there. I know this is hard, but Ray, this isn't good"

She pushed him but he regained his balance, "Rayna... Let's get you back to the dressing room"

She protested but he helped her up, she fought and screamed most of the way but he got her there. She stumbled to her vanity and grabbed the golden liquid that sat next to her makeup. He shook his head and sighed, "Ray"

"GET OUT!"

He shook his head, "I'm not going anywhere"

She cried and took a glass flower vase, throwing it his way. He dodged the flying object before approaching her, and making her sit down. She whimpered, and continued to cry. Bucky walked in and Deacon motioned for him to stay back. The man cooperated and sighed, "we need to get her home"

After downing her last bottle of whiskey she just sunk to the floor and cried, loud sobs and screams. Deacon approached her, but she didn't protest. He put a gentle hand on her back and she continued to cry. "Shhh Rayna"

She collapsed on him, sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He eventually helped her up and to his truck, "Buck I've got her"

He sat her in the passenger seat and drove away, taking her to the cabin. She cried most of the way and fell asleep in the end.

He carried her into the cabin and upstairs to the bedroom. She was so drunk so he laid her on her side, placing a trash can by her bed.

He called Bucky when they got back to the cabin, "Hey…"

"Deacon. How is she?" Bucky asked.

"she's pretty much passed out. I know tonight was hard for everybody, but she definitely struggled all night."

Bucky sighed, "yeah, she drank a lot. And I know she didn't eat…"

"how long has this been going on Bucky? This is the worst I've seen her" Deacon asked.

"I've just started to notice it about a few weeks ago. Could be longer though"

"Maddie talked to me last week and was pretty scared. I know she's building up her walls again"

"yeah. Deacon she's showing up drunk to media events and it's getting pretty obvious" Bucky explained.

Deacon sighed, Rayna was beginning to squirm in bed and he knew she would be miserable as soon as she opened her eyes. "hey, look. She's wakin up, I'll call you back"

Bucky agreed and they hung up. Rayna tossed and turned a little longer but finally woke up feeling sick. She sat up and immediately threw up before making it to the trash can. She cried but Deacon helped her into the bathroom, sitting her on the tub. He stripped the sheets and put new ones on. He cleaned the carpet and went to check on her, but she was throwing up again. He held her golden hair back and rubbed her back, "just let it out Ray"

She threw up once more and leaned back. He got a washcloth and wiped her clammy face. He got a clean flannel shirt and helped her change. He helped her brush her teeth and lay back into bed. He sat by her, "how're we feelin?"

She whimpered, curling up on her side. "Rayna"

She just ignored him, and moaned. He sighed, "Ray darlin"

He sighed, "I know last night was hard. But Ray you can't keep doin this"

She moaned and buried her head in the pillow, "I feel like shit"

He chuckled, "whiskey will do that to ya Ray."

She sighed, "how much did I..."

Before he could answer she was in the bathroom again throwing up. He was by her side in seconds holding her hair and rubbing her back.

He sighed as she leaned into him, "a lot. Ray... You need to talk about this"

She groaned, "stay out of it Deacon. I just had a bad night"

He sighed, "yeah, last night wasn't easy. But this is been goin on longer that just last night"

She got up and gagged, moaning. She tried to push him away but was just too weak to even muster up the strength to hit him hard enough. He gently pulled back the golden hair that hung in loose curls around her face. "I've got you Ray..."

He rubbed her back as she threw up again. She rested her head on the cold toilet seat and whimpered. He sighed, he was really worried about her. He hoped she would let someone back in and take a break from the whiskey. He knew it wasn't as easy as it sounded, and he didn't want her developing an addiction. She started to cry "you know what would make me feel better?"

"What's that Ray?"

"More whiskey" she cried. Lifting her head up.

He sighed, "hate to break it to ya but it doesn't work that way"

She whimpered, "not fair!"

He sighed a little, "Ray, I know you're hurtin, we're here for you, you've just gotta let us in"

She whimpered, laying her head back down. He rubbed her back, "let's get back in bed Ray"

She whined but let him help her up. He got a glass of water and brought her, "you need some water Ray"

She sipped the cool liquid that soothed her throat. He smiled, "can you talk to me?"

She shook her head, "I'm fine. Last night was just hard"

He nodded, "it was hard for everybody Ray. I could see you really struggling with Broken Hearts"

She nodded, and hung her head.

He sighed, "let me ask you somethin, did you drink a little before the show?"

She bit her lip and nodded, "I couldn't calm down..."

He sighed, "you made it through. But I will say Bucky is doin damage control today"

She groaned, "what'd I do?"

"You don't remember?"

She shook her head, blinking back tears.

He squeezed her hand, "you cried through broken hearts… that was expected. But then you screamed at Bucky to give you more whiskey and to leave you alone while you were backstage"

She groaned, tossing her head back onto the pillow. "It's probably all over the news"

He sighed, "I haven't talked to Bucky yet"

She sighed, "I'll be fine Deacon..."

He just squeezed her hand, "you ready to call Buck?"

She groaned, "I guess I have to"

He gave her the new phone Bucky got her earlier that month. She touched a few buttons and called her manager.

"Hey Ray" he greeted.

"Hey..." She nervously replied.

"How're we doin today?" He gently asked.

"I feel like shit..." She groaned.

He sighed, "you had a rough night Ray"

"How bad?" She hesitantly asked.

"Tabloids are eatin it up. It's bad. Your record is still holdin steady in the charts, but people are concerned" he explained.

She sighed, "last night was really hard. I will say that. And that's all I'm gonna say"

"Alright Ray. You just get some rest."

"Buck what do the girls know?" She asked, worried about her babies.

"They know that you had a hard time last night, but Tandy's taking care of them now"

"Okay... What happens next?"

"Well we had some radio interviews but I pushed those back. They all understood that you needed some time. Bluebird called and asked if you'd do a small show. I said it was possible." He explained.

"I dunno Buck. I'll try next week" she sighed.

He agreed, "just a small set. No big flashy dresses, something simple"

"I can try, okay. That's all I'm giving you"

"That's good. I'll take that" he agreed.

She hung up and sighed, groaning. Deacon smiled, "well?"

"Bluebird wants me for a small set next week"

"You think you can do it?" He asked.

"Maybe..." She mumbled.

He sighed, her vulnerability finally showing through. He nodded, "I'll help you. I'll be right there behind you"

**So sorry for the long wait. I didn't think I had the next chapter of this done, but I did. And then real life got in the way. but I now have the next chapter already done so the update will come sooner! Hope y'all enjoyed. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

She shrugged, "if I do... Okay"

He nodded, smiling. "You can try"

She yawned, "I promise I'm fine now deacon"

"Come on now Ray... You don't get drunk like that"

She sighed, "Deacon no. I'm fine."

He just nodded, "alright then. Let's get you somethin to eat since you threw up everythin in you"

She gagged at the thought of food and put her hand up to stop him, and her other on her stomach. "Not..."

She ran for the bathroom and threw up once more. He helped her clean up and got her back to bed, "okay. Ginger ale it is for you"

She whined and pouted, but he got her a glass. She sippedthe cool drink, taking a deep breath as her stomach began to protest even the simple liquid. "We doin okay there Ray?"

She sighed, "mmm yeah..." She tried to breathe through the wave of nausea and took a sip of the ginger ale.

"This is why you don't do whiskey Ray" he reminded her.

She groaned, "shut up"

He sighed, she looked miserable and he could tell it was more than the whiskey. She took a few more sips of the ginger ale and sighed, "don't tell the girls about this. Ever"

He nodded, "they know you're hurtin. Everyone knows you're hurtin. But Ray, you can't bottle it all up"

She shrugged, "can we write Deac?"

He nodded, hoping it would help her cope. She took the yellow pad and the black pencil and began to scribble some lyrics. She began to tear up and Deacon took the pad, sighing. He knew what the song was about. He played a simple chord progression, 'but you went away, how dare you, I miss you, they say I'll be okay, but I'm not going to ever get over you'

He helped her with the rest of the song and she cried through it. He put the guitar down and squeezed her hands, "it's beautiful Ray. People will love this"

She sighed, "I can't record it yet"

He nodded, "it's okay. Is this how you've been feelin lately?"

She nodded a little, blinking back tears. He rubbed his thumb on the top of her hand, "it's okay to let it show Ray"

She bit her lip as it quivered, and sighed, "I miss him..."

He took her hand and nodded, "I know you do. It's gonna get better, just let us help"

She started to cry and he pulled her into a hug. She buried her head in his chest and sobbed for the man she lost. "We're not doing anything with that song. It stays here"

He nodded, knowing it was full of raw emotion and pain that she felt.

He held her as she cried for a while, gently rubbing her back. He knew she needed to cry, both for her daddy and Luke. The two deaths hit her so hard and they were too close together for his liking. She cried until she was out of tears but then continued to scream and gasp for air. He rubbed her back, "deep breaths Ray"

She struggled at first and then finally caught her breath.

She looked up at him with tearstained, bloodshot eyes and the exhaustion was clear on her face.

He sighed, brushing a matted curl away from her pale face, "it's gonna be okay Ray. It doesn't look like it now, but it will"

She whimpered and he let her lean into him. He wrapped an arm around her and she buried her head in his chest. He put a hand on her head and held her close. She whimpered again and some fresh tears fell. He felt helpless that all he could do was hold her as she cried, but he knew deep down it was helping her.

She cried again until she fell asleep in his arms. He held her and rubbed her back as she slept. She slept for a few hours in his arms and finally woke up again. He smiled, "hey you"

She whimpered, "ugh"

He rubbed her back, "you needed that really good cry"

She sighed, "I'm a mess"

He rubbed her back, "it's okay to be a mess right now Ray. You're still grieving. But can we try to start getting back on track here?"

She shrugged, "I don't know what to do now Deacon..."

He squeezed her hands, "that right there is a good start. It's okay if you don't know. You have people who want to help you, you've just gotta let us"

She hung her head, afraid to actually ask for help, because she was so independent her whole life. He squeezed her hands again, he knew how strong and independent she always fronted as, and he could see that it was trying to poke through that she wasn't okay.

She sighed, but nodded a little, "I... Don't think I can do this alone right now"

He continued to hold her hands, "that's okay. I'll be right here for you, no matter what you need"

She nodded again and looked up at him. He smiled, wiping a tear away. "Now, why don't we try to eat a little somethin? I know you've been feelin bad all day"

She sighed, "I guess"

He nodded, "what do you want?"

"I dunno"

"Why don't we try somethin small... How about some scrambled eggs?"

She sighed and nodded, "I think I can do that"

He got up and went into the kitchen. She sipped some more ginger ale and laid back in bed for a few minutes before venturing to the kitchen. He smiled and offered her a glass of orange juice. She made a face, "it's your favorite Ray"

She tried a few sips before putting the glass down and going back to her ginger ale.

He sighed, "still feelin queasy?"

She nodded, resting her head on her hand.

He finished up the scrambled eggs that he knew were her favorite and walked around to squeeze her shoulders. "Deep breaths Ray..."

He smiled as she cooperated and then picked up a small bite of the eggs that she knew she loved. She waited a few minutes before trying another bite, and smiled when her stomach seemed to like the eggs. She sighed, no matter how awful she was feeling his scrambled eggs could calm her stomach down. He sat by her as she ate and smiled.

She looked at him, and he could tell she was just worn out. "Why don't you stay here today, and I'll take you home in the morning"

She nodded, and yawned. The cabin was her safe Haven and she decided it was the best idea. "I really want a shower"

He nodded, "alright. Just take your time"

About an hour later, she came down, dressed in a different flannel shirt, and her wet curls hung to one side of her face. He smiled, "feelin better Ray?"

She nodded and sat on the couch by him, picking up a notepad, "yeah..." She read the notepad and saw the new song lyrics that were forming on the paper. "What's this?"

**And here's another chapter y'all! Let me know what you guys think and if you have any ideas of how I should continue this. feedback is always appreciated! Have a great week! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

"It's a work in progress..." He smiled, allowing her to lean into him. She did and he wrapped his arm around her. She curled her legs into herself and rested her head on his shoulder. He held his guitar in his lap and strummed a little, "you wanna hear it?"

She nodded, smiling as he played the simple love song.

She wiped a tear away and faked a smile, "I like that..."

He put the guitar down and sat up facing her, "well I'm glad you do"

She sighed, it made her teary eyed, because she started thinking about Luke. "Can... I try that one?"

He smiled, picking back up the guitar. He played the simple song and smiled, it sounded better with her singing. "Ray this ones yours"

She sighed, nodding, knowing some of her biggest hits were written at the cabin. "That one I wrote earlier, stays here. But this... I think I can do this one"

He nodded, "alright... It's all yours."

A few days later she decided to play the small set. She was slightly drunk but managed to pull it off. She sat at the bar later and Avery was working, "well hey there Rayna. What can I get you?"

"Avery. Hi. Whiskey..."

He just nodded, but shot Deacon a worried glance across the room.

George strait had come to watch her show and Deacon went up to the man after the set, "hey Deacon"

"Hey. Listen, I know you and Ray are close, do you think you could help me out?"

George nodded, "yeah. How's she doin? I know she's takin this hard"

Deacon sighed, "that's the understatement of the year. She's even shutting me out. She was drunk when she sang tonight, and she's just struggling"

He nodded, "I'll talk to her. I may not get anywhere, but I'll try."

"Thanks man. She needs somebody"

The singer walked over to the bar and sat down next to Rayna. Avery smiled and offered a drink on the house to the singer. George chuckled and got a beer. Rayna heard his smooth voice and put her head down on the bar. George sighed, "well hello Rayna"

Rayna groaned, "go away"

"Hey. Rayna, come on now..." The man sighed.

"What do you want?!"

He sighed, "you did good up there Ray. I know this isn't easy"

She sighed, "you don't get it. So just go away!"

She stormed out of the bar causing him to follow. Bucky went up to Avery and sighed, "I'm paying her tab..."

Avery nodded, "all 150 bucks?"

Bucky sighed, "yeah, I kinda have to. Huh?"

Avery sighed, "yeah man. She likes that whiskey"

Bucky groaned, handing him the credit card. He paid and went outside. Rayna was crying now but George was calm as he tried to talk to her. "Rayna, look at me. I may not get it now, but if you talk to me, maybe I will"

Rayna just looked to him and sank to the ground crying. Bucky sighed, luckily most of the locals and other people had cleared out.

George just knelt down with her and found her hands, "I'm here for you Rayna. You know I always have been. If you need someone to just listen, to cry with, even to write, I'm here."

Bucky smiled as Rayna nodded a little, letting George help her up. He held her steady, "where would you like to go now Rayna?"

"I just wanna get away"

He nodded, "where can I take you?"

"Out of Nashville! Away. I don't care" she cried.

Bucky whispered something in his ear, and he smiled. "Come to Houston with me. Just two nights. I'm playing one of those nights, but you can just hang out backstage"

She looked to Bucky who nodded, as did Deacon. Bucky smiled, "you should go Rayna. It could be good"

"I need to tell the girls..."

George nodded, "that's perfectly okay. We're leaving in the morning, so you'll have some time with them."

Rayna slowly nodded, she'd always liked George. He was always so calm and caring. She'd looked up to him when she was just starting out and was thrilled when she got to open for him.

Bucky took her home after she hugged George and Deacon.

Maddie was still awake in bed when she got there so she sat down, "hey sweetheart"

Maddie smiled, "hi mom"

"What's up?" Rayna asked.

Maddie yawned, "nothin. I just wanted to know how your show was"

Rayna smiled, "it was good. George strait was there"

Maddie lit up, "really?!"

Rayna laughed, "yeah, he and I have been really good friends for a long time"

Maddie smiled, "didn't you open for him when you were like my age?"

Rayna smiled for the first time in a few weeks, "yeah, I did. It's what got my career really going"

Maddie nodded, "so can I open for him?"

Rayna smiled, "we'll see about that honey. You're still a few years younger than I was. I was only eighteen."

Maddie nodded. "Are you okay?"

Rayna sighed, "oh honey. I'm not really happy right now, no. But I'm trying."

"Please don't go to rehab like dad..." Maddie sighed.

Rayna hugged her baby girl, "shhh. I'm not going to. I promise"

Maddie sighed, "but you've been drinking a lot"

Rayna nodded, "I know honey. I'm sorry. This was sudden and unexpected. It's been hard."

Maddie just sighed, "but you'll stop right?"

Rayna squeezed her daughters hands, "yeah baby girl. I will. I'm going to tell you that it won't be easy for me, but I'll do it"

Maddie smiled and yawned, "okay"

Rayna helped her lay down and smiled, "baby I'm going to Houston for two nights tomorrow, okay..."

Maddie nodded, "why?"

"George strait wants me to. I may sing with him"

Maddie smiled, "can I come?"

Rayna chuckled, "you have school. But maybe next time"

Maddie accepted her moms answer and curled up. Rayna kissed her baby girl and turned off the light. She leaned up against the wall and felt a few fresh tears.

She texted Tandy for a few minutes about her show and going to Houston.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

The next morning she tried a glass of tea instead of whiskey and her stomach didn't like it. She sighed and opted for ginger ale. Bucky came to pick her up and he just smiled when he could tell she was groggy and didn't feel good, "we okay there Rayna?"

She sighed, "I think so"

"What is it?" He asked.

"Maddie told me not to go to rehab like her dad did..."

Bucky sighed and squeezed her hand. "That must've been hard to hear"

She nodded and sipped her ginger ale. "God yeah..." She sighed. It was almost a wake up call for her.

"You know, if you don't feel good I'll call George and let him know"

She shook her head, "I'm okay. I need to get outta here"

He nodded and drove her to the bus. She thanked him and gave him a hug as she walked over to George, "hey"

"Hey Rayna" he smiled, helping her into the bus. She smiled a little, her stomach not quite cooperating with her. George noticed her uneasiness, "you okay?"

She took a deep breath and sipped her ginger ale, "yeah, I'm alright"

He smiled and they got settled as the driver took off.

About two hours into the drive Rayna was exhausted and decided she needed to try to sleep. She sat down on the couch and curled up with a big blanket. George turned down the TV when he saw her and told some of the other guys to be a little quiet so she could sleep. He texted Bucky for a few minutes after she'd been sleeping for a good three hours and Bucky was happy that she was asleep.

They were just getting into Texas when Rayna stirred and started to wake up. George smiled, "well hey there sleepyhead"

She sat up and stretched, "how long have we been drivin?"

He smiled, "bout six hours. And you've been asleep for about four. We just got to Texas"

She nodded and yawned, fixing her curly ponytail. "Sorry.."

He smiled, "don't worry about it. If I remember right you slept the entire way from Florida to Nashville when you opened for me after your bus broke down"

She shrugged, it was the first time Deacon was in rehab and she'd gone almost 30 hours without sleep.

"You promised you wouldn't mention it ever again"

He nodded, squeezing her shoulder, "that was a long, hard day for you. You laid down and fell right to sleep"

She sighed, "I know. Okay? Now what kinda food do we got on this bus?"

He laughed, "there's some chicken you can heat up, and some potatoes..."

She smiled and got something to eat. She checked her phone and replied to a few things. A couple of the guys decided to play a little, and she harmonized a little on some of the songs. She got up and called Deacon, "hey"

"Hey Ray" he replied.

"We're in Texas. I just thought you should know"

"Well good. How're you doin?"

"I'm alright. I slept for a while" she sighed.

"You needed that. You have fun now, okay?"

She laughed, "I'll try. I just needed to hear your voice"

"Everything okay Ray?"

She sighed, "yeah. Just thinkin about the last time I was on this bus. I couldn't open anymore after our Florida show..."

He sighed, "I know. I'm sorry. Try not to think to much right now, just enjoy your break"

She fiddled with a blanket on her bed, "I'm tryin. Maddie said some things last night"

"Like what?"

"She said she didn't want me to go to rehab..."

"Oh Ray. We won't let that happen... Okay?"

"Okay..." She sighed.

"It's gonna be okay, we'll talk about this when you get home"

"Alright.." She sighed, biting back tears.

"Aww babe. Do I need to fly out later?" He sighed.

"I'll be alright. I'm just thinkin too much"

"You know you can call me later if you need to"

"Yeah, I know." She sighed. They hung up a few minutes later and she just read until they got to Houston. George knocked on her door and she smiled, "hey"

"We're almost to the hotel. It's kinda late so we're gonna eat first. I just wanted to give you a heads up so you could get ready"

She nodded, "thanks George"

He smiled, "Norma's meeting us there, so you two can find something fun to do"

She just laughed, "that'll be easy"

He smiled, and let her have some time to get ready. They got off the bus and Rayna smiled a little. She's missed her first Houston show with George because Deacon had just entered rehab and she was two months pregnant and throwing up. She remembered Norma taking care of her backstage and throwing a fit because she couldn't go on.

She smiled when the woman met them at the restaurant. They hugged and she smiled, "Rayna! It's so good to see you"

Rayna smiled at the older woman, even though there was about a five year difference in her and George's wife, they still got along easily. "You look great." Rayna smiled.

Norma smiled, "I should say that about you. Last time I saw you we were on a bathroom floor of the Astrodome."

Rayna sighed, "we don't talk about those days anymore."

Norma nodded, "alright." They sat down at the other end of the table. The woman put a comforting hand on Rayna's shoulder, "now honey, how're we holding up?"

Rayna knew what she wanted to know, but sighed, "this is a conversation for later. I promise. Just not here"

"Okay. Did you fly out?" The woman asked.

"I rode the bus. It was a last minute thing and I would have had to get the red eye."

Norma smiled, "are you singin tomorrow?"

"Maybe. I've gotta talk to George, but I'm just here to get away"

The woman smiled as they got their pizzas and Rayna seemed happy through dinner. They got back to the hotel and Rayna got settled in her room.

She had a calm night, she was starting to think that maybe the whiskey was getting her so worked up that she didn't really need it.

She'd texted Bucky for a few minutes and realized she just needed to sleep.

Her early alarm woke her up and she felt better. Her hot tea didn't make her stomach queasy like it did yesterday and she smiled. She went down to the gym at the hotel and ran a few miles. She ran into George on her way up. "Hey Rayna"

She sipped her water, "hey. You think I could sneak in for sound check"

He laughed, "yeah. Not a problem. Hey, do you wanna sing somethin?"

She smiled, "we could. One of yours?"

He agreed, "yeah, we can. Think about it and I'll see you in sound check"

She made her way to her room and showered, ordering room service for breakfast.

She ate, and smiled to herself. She talked to Deacon and then showered and got ready.

She got to sound check and George smiled, "hey there Rayna"

She smiled, "hey."

"How're you doin?" He asked.

"I'm better. Can we sing somethin?"

He nodded, "yeah. How bout you do here for a good time with me."

She smiled, "yeah, let's do it"

"Well then get up here and let's rehearse" he laughed.

She had fun on stage with him and smiled, "well this is better than opening for you"

He laughed, "I knew you would think so."

She stayed for the rest of his sound check and pulled off the show without a hitch.

**Well another chapter is done. I'm always accepting suggestions and feedback. If you have any ideas don't hesitate to share them with me. Thanks for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows…. **

They got back to Nashville and Rayna felt a wave of sadness rush over her. She wanted a drink, but she tried really hard not to. She got in her car and drove almost aimlessly to Watty's place. She banged on the door, getting more and more frustrated when he didn't come. He finally opened it, and sighed. "Rayna. Come on in"

She sighed and walked into his large home. "Watty. Can I have a drink. Please. Just one."

He sighed, deciding one drink wouldn't hurt the woman, "what do you want?"

"Whiskey." She sighed.

He poured her a glass and watched as she downed it like a shot. She plopped down on the couch and hid her head in her hands. Watty sighed and sat by her, "what's wrong my little songbird?"

She started to cry at the nickname he'd given her when she was so young. "Another drink would be nice"

He squeezed her shoulder, "hey now, that's not how we need to be dealin with this"

"Then HOW Watty?!" She snapped, crying out in frustration as she did.

He sighed, "first we need to calm down"

She groaned, "everybody tells me to calm down and it'll be okay. It's NOT okay."

His heart broke for her as she desperately cried. He began to rub her back when she leaned forward, hiding her face again.

She continued to cry, "I just want a drink Watty..."

He hated seeing her this way, so he brought her a small glass, "this is it, okay. I know about your little show at the concert last week. And the bluebird."

She hung her head, embarrassed by her actions.

He sighed as she downed the whiskey and seemed calmer.

"Who doesn't know about that concert? It was on the news all weekend. 'Will Rayna Jaymes end up in rehab?'" She mocked, leaning back on his couch.

He sighed, "not if she promises to quit drinking"

"I'm trying Watty. If I think about him all I wanna do is drink"

He nodded, knowing how she felt. He gently squeezed her shoulder, "it's hard, I'm not gonna lie about that. But you've gotta admit you need just a little help"

She hung her head, not wanting to. "Watty no. If I do that people will think I mean rehab. I can't do that to the girls"

He sighed, "it's complicated Rayna, I get that. But even if it's calling somebody every time you want to drink, or just going to the gym a little. I can find you a private trainer"

She shrugged, "I guess.. I dunno"

He squeezed her shoulder again, "it'll be okay Rayna. It'll take time but it will. And I'm here, every step"

She cried a little and hung her head. "I miss him Watty."

He rubbed her shoulder, "I know you do. It's okay to miss him. It's perfectly okay"

She just cried and glanced at her phone. Realizing she'd been gone a little too long. Bucky, Tandy, Deacon, Teddy and Maddie had all tried to call her more than once.

She half laughed and cried as she saw that. "I can't Watty"

She showed him the phone and he sighed, "you just stay right there, I'll call Bucky"

She sighed as he got up, dialing the mans number.

"Watty. Have you seen Rayna?" Bucky greeted, sounding nervous.

"Yeah. I'm home, she's here with me, has been for almost two hours" he calmly replied.

Bucky sighed in relief, "she okay? Drunk? How bad?"

"She's fine, she's just had a few drinks, but I'm keeping my eye on her to make sure she's okay."

"Alright. She just never came home from Houston so we were a little worried." Bucky explained.

"What was she up to in Houston?"

"She sang with George. I let her go to have a little break"

"Alright. I'll get her home soon" Watty promised.

They hung up and Watty went back to Rayna who was crying. She showed him her phone and the text from Maddie, 'mom are you in rehab?'

He hugged her and rubbed her back, "I think it's time we get you home, my little songbird"

She sighed heavily and he continued to rub her back. "What do I say to that?"

"Just tell her you went to see uncle Watty and you'll be home soon"

She sent the text and he smiled, "now, let's get you home"

Watty drove her home and promised to get her car back later. They walked inside and she was greeted by a hug from her oldest daughter. "Hey honey"

Maddie nodded, smiling a little.

Rayna sighed and smiled at her sister. "I'm sorry y'all. I just needed a minute"

Tandy nodded and smiled at Watty. Silently thanking him. Deacon went with Watty to get Rayna's car and Rayna talked to Maddie for a while.

A few days later Rayna was feeling on edge. She shoved off Deacon, Tandy and Bucky. She drove to the park and leaned over the bridge. She'd sent Watty a text about where to meet her. He pulled his truck next to her SUV and walked over to the bridge. He sighed, "hey my little songbird"

She sighed, "hey Watty"

He smiled, "how're you doin?"

She sighed, "I dunno"

"What's wrong?" He asked, knowing she was upset.

"I just miss him. I just wish I could see him again." She sighed.

He squeezed her shoulder, "are we havin a hard day?"

She nodded, letting a tear fall. "Yeah. I need a drink"

He rubbed her shoulder, "now Rayna, you can get through this without that"

She shrugged, "I dunno Watty"

"I know you miss him. Do you wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head as she walked over to a nearby log and sat down. He followed, and sat by her. She buried her head in her hands, "I can't do this Watty. He was so good to me, the girls. I actually thought we had something"

He nodded, "I know you did. I also know there's raw, pent up emotion and some feelings in there that we need to see come out from hiding"

She shook her head, "Watty no. I won't do that. Not yet."

He rubbed her shoulder, "even if we just acknowledge that they're there."

She sighed. She couldn't do this. "I can't Watty. I just.. I just need to be numb for a little while longer"

He gave her shoulder a squeeze, "alright Ray. But don't hold it all in for too long. I'm here when you're ready"

She nodded, burying her head in her hands. He sighed, she was so broken and twisted inside that he wasn't sure she would begin to put things back together. He rubbed her back and talked her through some deep breaths.

They walked back to her car and he smiled, "you call me okay. No matter what you need."

She nodded, "you know I will Watty"

He hugged her and she got into her car, driving away.

**Hey y'all! I can't decide if I'm happy or not about the way the premier went last week. I'm interested to see what happens next, and I hope y'all are too with both the show and this story. Reviews make me happy! **


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